odi

paper aeroplanes carefully constructed of 

well intentioned interrogations 

pile up

and i am overwhelmed- 

the weight is not so bad, 

but cuts still bleed ribbons

and the salt from my eyes blurs 

and the density of frustration contained in my chest builds pressure so it's hard to breathe 

'you're being unreasonable'

yet the walls that surround cut out the sunlight, 

harsh fluorescents reveal that i am trapped with ambition and pride and family-

but they are not my friends.

self doubt is, she wakes me every morning, and loneliness clings 

even though i know that i'm not alone

anger is a constant,a bad habit i'm failing to drop,
hope is only ever a temporary visitor    

the incessant rage dims to background noise if you try hard enough

but the biting scratching screeching you cannot escape
nor the obsidian clouds that come with it

my own head betrays me
'suck it up you bastard'

crystal walls

you feel your spine
torn through your skin
and pinned to a board,
each shoulder the tip of a butterfly wing
trapped behind sheets of frozen glass

your lips
forced into a plastic smile
bear your teeth, 
a passive aggressive dig at those who look close enough to notice
but still are silent

hint- 
the whiteness of knuckles
that grip hard to create an illusion of control,
to stop the vibrations of emotion,
compressed into a spring wound tight

tendons along your neck strain 
to keep your chin above endless mutterings 
that threaten to drown- 
whispers make up the stones that fill your pockets
heavier than the edge of stares that follow your path

shot down by your glare and clench of jaw
you shatter the windows and scrape your knees climbing out and 
blood drips red like roses marking the floor as claimed and 
you, 
stand up tall.